Laugh Out Loud with Kevin Malone Quotes: The Funniest Lines from The Office Character

Kevin Malone's character in the American sitcom, The Office, is known for his humorous and often nonsensical remarks. From his love for chili to his confusion over simple math equations, Kevin's quotes have become iconic among fans of the show. Whether you're a die-hard fan or just looking for a good laugh, these Kevin Malone quotes are sure to put a smile on your face.

First and foremost, we can't talk about Kevin Malone without mentioning his obsession with chili. It's probably the thing I do best, he once proclaimed. And who could forget the time he spilled an entire pot of chili on the office floor and proceeded to scoop it back into the pot? Why waste good chili? he asked. It's moments like these that make Kevin's character so lovable and hilarious.

But chili isn't the only thing on Kevin's mind. He's also known for his unique perspective on life. I don't hate it. I just don't like it at all and it's terrible, he once said of his job at Dunder Mifflin. And when discussing his favorite animal, he simply stated, I'd have to go with a turtle. Because it's so hard to catch. These quotes may not make much sense, but they certainly showcase Kevin's quirky personality.

When it comes to relationships, Kevin's advice is both simple and profound. If someone gives you 10,000 to 1 odds on anything, you take it. If John Mellencamp ever wins an Oscar, I am going to be a very rich dude, he once said. And when asked about his dating life, he replied, I'm not engaged, I just wear this ring to deter women. With lines like these, it's no wonder Kevin has become a fan favorite.

Of course, no discussion of Kevin Malone quotes would be complete without mentioning his infamous World's Best Boss mug. I wake up every morning in a bed that's too small, drive my daughter to a school that's too expensive, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little. But on pretzel day? Well, I like pretzel day, he once said. It's this kind of optimism in the face of adversity that makes Kevin such a lovable character.

But Kevin's humor isn't just limited to his words. He also has a talent for physical comedy, as evidenced by his attempts to catch a turtle in the office parking lot and his ill-fated attempt to balance a huge pot of chili on his lap while driving. These moments are both hilarious and endearing, further cementing Kevin's place in The Office canon.

Despite his comedic moments, Kevin also has a heart of gold. When he learned that his coworker Pam was pregnant, he offered to give her $1,000 to help with the expenses. And when his band Scrantonicity played at the Dundies, he gave an emotional speech about how much he loved his coworkers. It's these moments of sincerity that make Kevin more than just a one-dimensional comedic character.

In conclusion, Kevin Malone's quotes are a testament to the power of humor in everyday life. From his love of chili to his musings on turtles, Kevin's unique perspective on the world never fails to entertain. So if you're ever feeling down, just remember: I declare bankruptcy!

Introduction

Kevin Malone is one of the most beloved characters from the TV show The Office. He may not be the brightest bulb in the bunch, but his one-liners and quotes have left a lasting impression on fans. From his love for food to his questionable math skills, Kevin's humor always managed to make us laugh. In this article, we will take a look at some of Kevin Malone's most memorable quotes.

The Love for Food

One of Kevin's defining traits is his love for food. He has been shown eating everything from a giant pot of chili to a giant sub sandwich. Some of his most memorable quotes revolve around his love for food. One such quote is I declare bankruptcy! which he yelled after he thought it was a way to get out of debt. Of course, that's not how it works, but it was still funny nonetheless.

The Misheard Quote

In one episode, Kevin mishears a quote from Holly, saying I want to kill myself instead of I want to go ice-skating. His response? You're going to need a lot of ice. It's dark humor, but it's still funny. Kevin's misinterpretation of things often leads to hilarious moments, and this quote is a perfect example of that.

The Math Prodigy

Kevin isn't the best when it comes to math, but that doesn't stop him from trying. In one episode, he tries to explain his math skills, saying I know how to reduce fractions, Dwight. God! Unfortunately, that's about the extent of his math knowledge. Another classic Kevin quote related to math is I do declare, bankruptcy! which he thinks is a way to declare bankruptcy.

The Businessman

Kevin may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but that doesn't stop him from trying to be a successful businessman. In one episode, he tries to pitch a business idea to Michael, saying I have a great idea. A see-through toaster. You could see the toast while it's toasting. Needless to say, Michael wasn't impressed, but fans certainly were.

The Love Guru

In one episode, Kevin tries to give Jim some love advice, saying Mini cupcakes? As in the mini version of regular cupcakes? Which is already a mini version of cake? Honestly, where does it end with you people? It's not exactly love advice, but it's still hilarious. Kevin's attempts at giving advice are always entertaining, even if they don't make much sense.

The Celebrity Look-Alike

In one episode, Kevin reveals that people often mistake him for Chris Farley. When Pam shows him a picture of Farley, he responds with Oh, that guy. I love him. He's hilarious. It's a funny moment, and it's easy to see why people would mistake the two. Both Farley and Kevin have a love for food and a sense of humor that can make anyone laugh.

The Office Gossip

Kevin isn't just a loveable goofball, he's also the office gossip. In one episode, he reveals that Oscar is gay, saying I heard that Oscar is gay, and I have no problem with that. I have no problem with gays. I just don't want to see it, that's all. It's called decency. Of course, this leads to a lot of awkward moments, but it's still a funny quote.

The Inspirational Speaker

In one episode, Kevin tries to give a motivational speech, saying You know what they say, fool me once, strike one. But fool me twice...strike three. It's not exactly the most inspiring quote, but it's still funny. Kevin's attempts at being motivational are always entertaining, even if they don't make much sense.

The Love for Halloween

Kevin loves Halloween, and he doesn't shy away from showing it. In one episode, he shows up to work dressed as Michael Moore, complete with a Sicko t-shirt. When asked who he's supposed to be, he responds with Michael Moore. I'm sick and tired of people telling me I look like him. It's a hilarious moment, and it's easy to see why fans love Kevin's Halloween costumes.

The Final Thoughts

Kevin Malone may not be the brightest bulb in the bunch, but his humor has left a lasting impression on fans. From his love for food to his questionable math skills, Kevin's one-liners and quotes always managed to make us laugh. He may not have been the star of the show, but he certainly stole the spotlight whenever he was on screen.

Kevin Malone Quotes: The Comedic Genius

Kevin Malone is one of the most beloved characters in The Office, and for good reason. He's a lovable oaf with a heart of gold and a knack for making us laugh. Let's take a look at some of his most memorable quotes:

I declare bankruptcy!

Kevin's attempt to declare bankruptcy in The Office was a classic moment of comedic genius. He doesn't quite understand what he's doing, but he knows that saying the words will make everything better. Unfortunately, it doesn't quite work that way, but we can't help but admire Kevin's optimism.

Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?

Kevin's simple yet effective explanation of communication is something we can all learn from. Why use big words and complicated sentences when you can get your point across with just a few words? Kevin's approach may not be grammatically correct, but it gets the job done.

I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.

Kevin's hilarious justification for his odd behavior is something we can all relate to. We may not believe in superstitions, but we still have our quirks and habits that we can't quite explain. Kevin embraces his stitious tendencies and we can't help but love him for it.

Mini-cupcakes? As in the mini version of regular cupcakes? Which is already a mini version of cake? Honestly, where does it end with you people?

Kevin's frustration with the concept of mini-cupcakes is something we can all understand. Why make something smaller when it's already small enough? Kevin's exasperation is both relatable and hilarious.

I think Chris is a great guy. But maybe he shouldn't be going to Thailand alone. It sounds like the kind of place where you go to get sex.

Kevin's unintentionally inappropriate comment on Chris' upcoming trip is a classic example of foot-in-mouth syndrome. He means well, but his lack of filter sometimes gets the best of him. We can't help but cringe and laugh at the same time.

I'm like a candy cane in a world of peppermints.

Kevin's unique way of describing himself is both endearing and amusing. He may not fit in with the rest of the office, but he's comfortable in his own skin. We can all learn a thing or two from Kevin's confidence.

I just want to do my work, eat my sandwich, and be left alone.

Kevin's relatable desire for a stress-free work day is something we can all sympathize with. We all have those days where we just want to be left alone to do our work and eat our lunch in peace. Kevin's simple approach to work-life balance is something we should all strive for.

If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds, and nobody would ever know I'd ever been here.

Kevin's confidence in his minimal impact on the workplace is both amusing and a little sad. We know he's capable of more, but he's content to keep things simple. Kevin's approach to work may not be the most ambitious, but it's certainly relatable.

I'd like a cookie in the shape of a circle with the little ridges on the outside.

Kevin's specific cookie request may seem a little odd, but we can't help but admire his attention to detail. After all, circles with ridges are just better. Kevin's insistence on getting what he wants is both amusing and endearing.

I have a confession to make. I know how to make a grilled cheese sandwich.

Kevin's ridiculous confession during his job interview is something we can all relate to. We all have those moments where we feel like we need to share something completely irrelevant. Kevin's honesty is both refreshing and hilarious.

In conclusion, Kevin Malone may not be the most competent employee in The Office, but he's certainly one of the funniest. His unique perspective on life and work is both relatable and amusing. We can all learn a thing or two from Kevin's approach to life.

The Hilarious World of Kevin Malone Quotes

A Look into the Mind of The Office's Funniest Character

If you're a fan of The Office, then you know that Kevin Malone is one of the funniest characters on the show. From his deadpan delivery to his love of chili, Kevin has provided us with countless laughs over the years. But what makes his character so hilarious? Let's take a closer look at some of his most memorable quotes and find out.

I declare bankruptcy!

One of Kevin's most famous lines is when he declares bankruptcy in season four. While it's not exactly a legal way to get out of debt, you can't help but laugh at his delivery. Kevin's bluntness and lack of understanding of financial matters make for a hilarious moment that we can all relate to.

I do declare, bankruptcy!

Another classic moment from Kevin comes in season five when he attempts to imitate Scarlett O'Hara from Gone with the Wind. His attempt at a southern accent is hilariously bad, but it's his complete lack of understanding of the context that really seals the deal. Kevin's innocence and cluelessness make him one of the most endearing characters on the show.

You know what they say about a car wreck, where it's so awful you can't look away? The Dundies are like a car wreck that you want to look away from but you have to stare at it because your boss is watching.

Kevin's commentary on the annual Dundie Awards perfectly sums up the cringe-worthy nature of the event. While everyone else is trying to put their best foot forward, Kevin is the only one willing to admit how terrible it all is. His honesty and humor make him the perfect character to cut through the awkwardness of the situation.

Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?

Perhaps one of Kevin's most iconic lines, this quote perfectly showcases his simplistic approach to life. Why use a lot of words when you can get your point across with just a few? Kevin's straightforward attitude is both refreshing and hilarious, and it's part of what makes him such a beloved character.

Conclusion

Kevin Malone may not be the smartest or most competent character on The Office, but he's certainly one of the funniest. His deadpan delivery and innocent charm have provided us with countless laughs over the years, and his memorable quotes have become a staple of the show's culture. Whether he's declaring bankruptcy or making a joke about chili, Kevin is a character that we can all relate to and laugh with.

Thanks for Stopping By! Kevin Malone Quotes to Keep You Smiling

Well, well, well. Look who decided to stop by and indulge in some of Kevin Malone’s hilarious quotes! I hope you’ve enjoyed reading through this article and had a few laughs along the way. Before you go, let me leave you with a few parting words to keep the humor flowing.

First off, if you’re ever feeling down, just remember Kevin’s wise words, “I declare bankruptcy!” Okay, maybe that won’t solve all your problems, but it’s worth a shot, right?

And if you ever find yourself in a situation where you need to break the ice, take a page out of Kevin’s book and ask, “Are you on email?” It’s sure to get a chuckle and start a conversation.

Let’s not forget about Kevin’s love for food. The man could make anything sound delicious. So, the next time you’re struggling to describe a meal, just say, “It’s like a party in my mouth and everyone’s invited.”

On the topic of food, who could forget Kevin’s famous chili debacle? Don’t worry, we won’t go into too much detail, but let’s just say if you’re ever bringing chili to a potluck, double-check the lid before you leave the house.

Moving on, Kevin had a knack for stating the obvious. For example, “Mini cupcakes? As in the mini version of regular cupcakes? Which is already a mini version of cake? Honestly, where does it end with you people?”

Let’s also give a shoutout to Kevin’s love for turtles. If you’re ever unsure of what to get him as a gift, just remember, “I wonder what people like about me. Probably my jugs.”

And finally, let’s leave you with one last Kevin quote to carry with you throughout the day: “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” Wise words from a wise man.

So, there you have it. A collection of Kevin Malone quotes to keep you laughing and smiling throughout the day. Thanks for stopping by, and I hope to see you again soon. Until then, remember Kevin’s words, “I have very little patience for stupidity. But lucky for us, we can always count on him for a good laugh.

People Also Ask About Kevin Malone Quotes

Who is Kevin Malone?

Kevin Malone is a character from the American television show The Office. He is portrayed by actor Brian Baumgartner.

What are some of Kevin Malone's famous quotes?

Kevin Malone is known for his humorous and often nonsensical one-liners. Some of his most famous quotes include:

• That's what she said.
• I declare bankruptcy!
• I have very little patience for stupidity.
• Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?

Why do people love Kevin Malone's quotes?

People love Kevin Malone's quotes because they are hilarious, unexpected, and often make no sense at all. His unique brand of humor adds a lighthearted touch to the show and keeps viewers laughing throughout each episode.

Can I use Kevin Malone's quotes in my daily life?

Absolutely! Kevin Malone's quotes are perfect for adding a bit of humor to any situation. Just be sure to use them with caution, as some people may not appreciate their offbeat humor.

What can we learn from Kevin Malone's quotes?

While Kevin Malone's quotes may seem nonsensical at first glance, there are actually a few valuable lessons we can learn from them. For example:

1. Don't take yourself too seriously.
2. Life is short, so enjoy it while you can.
3. Laughter is the best medicine.
4. It's okay to be a little bit weird!