Laugh Out Loud with the Top 10 Hilarious Tobias Funke Quotes

Are you a fan of Arrested Development? If so, you're probably familiar with Tobias Funke, the eccentric and often clueless character played by David Cross. Tobias is known for his bizarre behavior and inability to understand social cues, but he's also famous for his hilarious one-liners and quotes that have become iconic among fans. From his misguided attempts at acting to his ridiculous outfits, Tobias never fails to make us laugh. So, sit back, relax, and let's dive into the world of Tobias Funke quotes!

One of the most memorable things about Tobias is his complete lack of self-awareness. He often says things that are unintentionally hilarious, like when he declared, I just blue myself for the first time in five years. It feels like going home. Or when he confidently stated, I'm afraid I just blue myself without realizing the double entendre. These quotes highlight Tobias' obliviousness and his tendency to take things too far.

Another aspect of Tobias' character that makes him so funny is his obsession with becoming an actor. Despite having no talent or training, Tobias is convinced that he's destined for stardom. His delusions lead to some of his funniest lines, like when he proclaimed, I'm an actor. I can cry on command depending on the wind. Or when he described his acting method as, I'm not a magician, Michael. I'm an actor. The difference being that a magician creates illusions, while an actor embodies truth. These quotes showcase Tobias' absurdity and his complete lack of understanding about what it takes to be an actor.

Of course, no discussion of Tobias Funke quotes would be complete without mentioning his infamous never-nude status. Tobias' fear of being naked leads him to wear cutoff shorts at all times, even in the shower. His comments about his condition are some of his most hilarious, like when he explained, It's a real affliction, Michael. I'm afraid I have it. Or when he lamented, I just don't want to be naked. Is that so hard to understand? These quotes highlight Tobias' insecurity and his ridiculous solution to his problem.

One of the things that makes Tobias so lovable is his earnestness. Despite his many flaws, he really does try his best to fit in with his family and be a good father to his daughter Maeby. However, his attempts often end up being comically misguided, like when he tried to bond with his son-in-law by saying, I hear the jury's still out on science. Or when he told his wife Lindsay, I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man. These quotes showcase Tobias' well-meaning but ultimately clueless nature.

Another thing that makes Tobias so funny is his tendency to misunderstand common phrases and idioms. He often takes them too literally or gets them completely wrong, leading to some of the show's most iconic moments. For example, when he declared, I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will, so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. Or when he asked, You know what they say: fool me once, strike one. But fool me twice...strike three. These quotes highlight Tobias' ineptitude and his complete lack of understanding about how language works.

Despite his many quirks and flaws, Tobias is a beloved character among Arrested Development fans. His quotes have become a part of pop culture and continue to make us laugh years after the show ended. Whether he's talking about his never-nude status, his acting career, or just trying to fit in with his family, Tobias always manages to bring the funny. So, next time you need a laugh, just remember: there's always a Tobias Funke quote for every occasion.

Tobias Funke Quotes: The Funniest Lines from Arrested Development

Arrested Development is a cult classic TV show that has been praised for its witty writing, clever humor, and hilarious characters. Among these characters is Tobias Funke, the eccentric and clueless family therapist played by David Cross. Tobias is known for his outrageous statements, double entendres, and bizarre behavior, and his quotes have become some of the most memorable lines in the show. Here are some of the funniest Tobias Funke quotes that will make you laugh out loud.

I just blue myself.

This line comes from the first episode of the show, when Tobias is trying to audition for the role of George Bluth in a family play. In an effort to look more like him, he covers himself in blue paint, leading to one of the most iconic scenes in Arrested Development history. This quote has become a fan favorite and is often used in memes and social media posts.

I'm afraid I just blue myself for nothing.

This is another classic line from Tobias, which comes later in the same episode after he realizes that he didn't get the part. His deadpan delivery and obliviousness to the absurdity of his situation make this line even funnier.

I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run.

This quote comes from the episode Pier Pressure, in which Tobias tries to teach his daughter Maeby a lesson about drugs by pretending to be a drug dealer and setting up a sting operation. However, things don't go as planned, and Tobias accidentally shoots himself with a paintball gun. This line is both hilarious and cringe-worthy, and it perfectly captures Tobias's awkwardness and ineptitude.

I just want to be pure.

This is a recurring line from Tobias, who is constantly struggling with his sexuality and his desire to become an actor. He often uses the phrase I just want to be pure as a way of expressing his inner turmoil and confusion.

There are dozens of us! Dozens!

In the episode Top Banana, Tobias reveals that he is part of a group called The Blue Man Group, which involves painting himself blue and performing as a mime. However, when he tries to recruit others to join him, he realizes that he is the only member. This quote has become one of the most iconic lines from the show and is often used in memes and social media posts.

I'm a monster!

This line comes from the episode S.O.B.s, in which Tobias accidentally eats a tray of marijuana-laced brownies and becomes paranoid and delusional. He ends up running through the streets naked, screaming I'm a monster! This scene is one of the funniest in the entire series and perfectly showcases Tobias's absurdity and unpredictability.

I just don't want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann.

This line comes from the episode Staff Infection, in which Tobias is worried about meeting Ann Veal's parents. He is afraid that her father will make fun of him for being white, leading to this hilarious and awkward statement.

I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.

This is a classic line from Tobias, who often responds to questions in a nonsensical or evasive way. It perfectly captures his cluelessness and lack of self-awareness.

I'm afraid I just blue myself again.

This is another classic line from Tobias, which comes from the episode Key Decisions. He accidentally gets blue paint on himself while trying to paint a picture of his wife Lindsay, leading to this hilarious statement.

No touching!

This is a running gag in the show, in which the Bluth family is banned from touching each other due to a lawsuit. Tobias takes this rule very seriously and often yells No touching! at the other characters, even when they are not touching.

In conclusion, Tobias Funke is one of the funniest and most memorable characters in Arrested Development, thanks in large part to his hilarious quotes and one-liners. Whether he's painting himself blue or accidentally shooting himself with a paintball gun, Tobias always manages to make us laugh with his absurdity and cluelessness. So the next time you need a good laugh, just remember some of these classic Tobias Funke quotes and enjoy the hilarity that ensues.

Tobias Funke Quotes: A Hilarious Take on Life

As one of the most iconic characters from the hit TV show Arrested Development, Tobias Funke has a repertoire of quotes that are both hilarious and memorable. From his failed attempts at acting to his constant desire for attention, Tobias never fails to make us laugh with his outrageous comments. Here are some of his best quotes:

I just blue myself for the first time in five years. It feels like going home.

This quote perfectly sums up Tobias' quirky personality. As a struggling actor, he's always looking for ways to stand out from the crowd. And what better way to do that than by painting yourself blue? Of course, this leads to some embarrassing moments, but Tobias never lets that get him down.

I'm afraid I just blue myself.

Another classic Tobias moment. This time, he's admitting his mistake after once again covering himself in blue paint. But instead of being embarrassed, he owns up to it with a sense of humor that is uniquely his own.

It's called 'taking advantage'. It's what gets you ahead in life.

Tobias may not be the most successful person in the world, but he certainly knows how to hustle. Whether he's trying to land an acting gig or get his foot in the door at a new job, he's always looking for ways to get ahead. And while his methods may not be the most ethical, there's no denying that they're effective.

I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run.

This quote is a perfect example of Tobias' tendency to overshare. In an attempt to impress his wife, he reveals a little too much information about his sexual prowess. Of course, this leads to some awkward moments, but Tobias never seems to realize when he's gone too far.

I'm afraid I just blue myself on Monster.com.

Once again, Tobias finds himself covered in blue paint. But this time, it's while he's trying to find a job online. Despite his best efforts, he just can't seem to catch a break. But instead of giving up, he keeps pushing forward with his unique brand of humor.

I'm no Michaelangelo. I'm a Michaelannoying.

Tobias may not be the most talented actor, but he certainly has a way with words. This quote is a perfect example of his ability to turn a phrase. Even when he's not successful in his endeavors, he always manages to find a way to make us laugh.

I'm here to audition for the Blue Man Group. I'm afraid I just bloomed myself with paint.

This quote shows just how determined Tobias can be. Even after multiple failed attempts at acting, he's still willing to put himself out there and try something new. Of course, things don't always go according to plan, but Tobias never lets that stop him from pursuing his dreams.

I just wanted to say that I'm a huge fan...of money.

Despite his many quirks, Tobias is still a businessman at heart. He may not always make the best decisions, but he's always looking for ways to make a quick buck. And while this may not be the most admirable quality, it's certainly entertaining to watch.

I just wanted to pop in to see how Tobias was doing. That's a leading question!

Even when he's not the center of attention, Tobias manages to steal the show. This quote is a perfect example of his tendency to turn any situation into a comedic one. Whether it's intentional or not, he always manages to make us laugh.

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

Finally, we have Tobias' sage advice on life. While he may not be the most successful person in the world, he certainly has a unique perspective on what it takes to get ahead. And even if his methods aren't always the most ethical, there's no denying that they're effective.

In conclusion, Tobias Funke may not be the most successful person in the world, but he certainly knows how to make us laugh. With his outrageous comments and quirky personality, he's become one of the most beloved characters from Arrested Development. So the next time you're feeling down, just remember: I'm afraid I just blue myself.

The Hilarious World of Tobias Funke Quotes

Tobias Funke: The Man, The Myth, The Never Nude

For those who are uninitiated, Tobias Funke is a character from the hit TV show Arrested Development. He's a failed actor and an even worse therapist, with a penchant for saying some of the most absurd and hilarious things imaginable.

One of the things that makes Tobias so funny is his complete lack of self-awareness. He's constantly saying things that are inappropriate, offensive, or just plain weird, but he never seems to realize it.

But despite all of his flaws (or perhaps because of them), Tobias has become a fan favorite, with many of his quotes and catchphrases becoming internet memes and cultural touchstones.

Some of Tobias's Most Memorable Quotes

Here are just a few of the many, many hilarious things Tobias has said over the years:

1. I just blue myself for the first time in five years. It feels like going home.
2. I'm afraid I just blue myself.
3. I don't want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn't help.
4. I just want to be pure.
5. There are dozens of us! Dozens!

Whether he's talking about his love for the Blue Man Group, his desire to be a never nude, or his belief that he's a professional twice over – an analyst and a therapist, Tobias always manages to be both absurd and endearing.

The Importance of Humor in Life

While Tobias's quotes are definitely hilarious, there's also something deeper and more important going on here. As human beings, we all face challenges and struggles in life, both big and small. And sometimes, the best way to cope with those challenges is through humor.

Humor has the power to bring people together, to help us see the absurdity in our problems, and to remind us that even in the darkest of times, there's always something to laugh about.

So if you're feeling down or stressed out, take a page from Tobias's book and try to find the humor in your situation. You might be surprised at how much better it makes you feel.

Conclusion

Tobias Funke may be a fictional character, but his quotes and humor have touched the lives of millions of people around the world. So the next time you're feeling blue, remember that there's always someone out there who understands – even if it's just a never nude with a terrible haircut and a penchant for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.

The Many Hilarious Quotes of Tobias Funke

Greetings, fellow Arrested Development fans! I hope you enjoyed my extensive compilation of the funniest and most memorable quotes from the one and only Tobias Funke. But before I bid you adieu, I want to take a moment to reflect on just how amazing this character truly is.

From his failed acting career to his bizarre sexual identity, Tobias never fails to bring the laughs. And while some might argue that his humor is crass or inappropriate, I think we can all agree that it's impossible not to crack a smile when he opens his mouth.

Whether you're a die-hard fan or just discovering Arrested Development for the first time, I hope these quotes have brought a little bit of joy into your day. And if you're like me, you're probably already itching to re-watch the entire series just to see Tobias in action once again.

So without further ado, here are a few more of my personal favorite Tobias Funke quotes:

I just blue myself for the first time in five years. It feels like going home.

This gem of a line comes from the very first episode of Arrested Development, and it perfectly encapsulates Tobias's bizarre sense of humor. Who else but Tobias would think that painting himself blue is the best way to feel like going home?

I'm afraid I just blue myself.

Another classic blue-related quote, this one comes from season two. It's short, sweet, and oh-so-Tobias.

It's as Ann as the nose on plain's face.

Okay, so this quote isn't technically from Tobias himself – it's actually from his wife, Lindsay. But it's too good not to include. Lindsay is trying to say that something is obvious, but she ends up mangling the phrase and making herself sound ridiculous. Tobias's response? Let it go, let it go!

There are dozens of us! Dozens!

In this hilarious scene, Tobias is trying to start an acting group called The Method One Actors. Unfortunately, he's the only member. When his wife suggests that maybe he should try a different approach, Tobias insists that there are dozens of other actors who share his passion.

I just want my children to be happy and proud of their father… when they grow up and learn what I do.

As a failed actor turned licensed analyst and therapist, Tobias isn't exactly the picture of success. But in this quote, he reveals his deep desire for his children to be proud of him. Of course, the fact that he wants them to be proud of him for being a therapist (which he isn't actually licensed to do) just makes it all the more hilarious.

I just need to get up on that stage and strut my stuff.

In yet another attempt to jumpstart his acting career, Tobias decides to audition for a play. His confidence is palpable as he declares that he just needs to strut his stuff on stage. Unfortunately, he ends up getting cast in the role of Mole – a character who spends the entire play burrowing underground and never actually appears on stage.

It's like one of my Japanese animes.

When Tobias is trying to explain something that doesn't quite make sense, he often compares it to one of his favorite Japanese cartoons. This quote has become a bit of a catchphrase for the character, and it always manages to get a chuckle out of me.

I blue myself for every illusion, Michael.

When Tobias is trying to explain why he painted himself blue (again), he insists that it's all in service of his craft. Apparently, he needs to be in character at all times – even when he's not actually acting. Gotta respect the commitment, I guess?

I have a medical condition. It's called 'MRF.'

In one of the show's funniest running gags, Tobias repeatedly refers to his MRF – or, as he explains it, his never-nude condition. He insists that he can never be naked, and even wears cut-off jean shorts in the shower. It's weird, it's hilarious, and it's quintessential Tobias.

So there you have it – just a few more of the many, many amazing quotes from Tobias Funke. I hope you've enjoyed this trip down memory lane, and that you'll continue to appreciate the comedic genius that is Arrested Development (and specifically, Tobias) for years to come.

Until next time, keep laughing!

People Also Ask About Tobias Funke Quotes

Who is Tobias Funke?

Tobias Funke is a fictional character from the television show Arrested Development. He is known for his outrageous behavior and unique way of speaking.

What are some of Tobias Funke's most famous quotes?

1. I just blue myself for the first time in five years.
2. There are dozens of us! Dozens!
3. I'm afraid I just blue myself.
4. I just want to be pure.
5. I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run if you will, so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.

What makes Tobias Funke's quotes so funny?

Tobias Funke's quotes are so funny because of his unique way of speaking and the absurd situations he finds himself in. He often uses double entendres and innuendos that are hilarious when taken out of context.

Why do people love Tobias Funke's character?

People love Tobias Funke's character because he is so absurd and over-the-top. His antics and one-liners are always entertaining and keep audiences laughing. Plus, his cluelessness and inability to read social cues make him a lovable underdog.